The Blue Lagoon of Your Dreams

beware getting too close to underwater creatures // a poem

I once sank into the blue lagoon of your dreams
It was sparkling down there, 
Beams of light shining off billions of grains of sand
You brought me pink, shimmery tendrils, 
octopus legs you told me I could eat
Only for them to wriggle from my grasp

You chuckled, and promised me
Next time I'd be able to feed
Next time
Next time, as I go hungry
Next time

You begged me to stay
But I couldn't hold my breath for long
I had to return to the surface, 
to the things I could hold in my hands
When I left the water, you clung to me

I didn't notice at first
I didn't protest
And now
You have been a leech on my back for so long
Growing fat, black, and so gorged off my inner river
That I forgot I could pry you off

You weren't built for the jungle, 
That much was clear,
And so we compromised: 
So long as I was on land, my food was your food,
And once my appetite was sated enough,
We would return, and you promised 
you'd show me how to fish the pink dreams from your lagoon 

But with you, 
my stomach is never satisfied.
I've carried you with me for 11 months.
In hindsight,
It wasn't a compromise 
as much as it was me trying to make light of your actions.
I wanted to believe your promise,
even though there was no reason to,
and I understand now, that
I just wanted to feel connected to someone.

Now my nipples are falling off
The flesh of my upper ear is rotting
I smell decay on my breath
My belly is bloated
and my blood no longer reaches my toes
I think I've given you enough.
You'll never forgive me, but
there will be more people for you to feed from.
Just not me
Not me

Let me take you back to the water
I'll contort myself to grip you
your dark flesh tube of a body,
Massage the black gums of your teeth until they retract 
Carefully remove you, a suction sound
As your tongue finally unlatches from my back
Let me carry you to the water, my friend
I'll release you to your lagoon of dreams 
You'll be happier there 

Then
I will take my jar of hotfoot powder,
Squeak open the lid
And run off, and away from you
Down the beach and away
Into the green shrubbery
And off to God knows where.
All I leave is a trail of red 
crumbs on the scorching sand.
And just like that, you'll know,
squirming in the water,
crying out my name,
That I will never return to your lagoon again.

-Moonshine